Puzzle perfect

Edmonton in Alberta, Canada, would not be the first place on many people’s list for honeymoon destinations. It has a good university, but the 100 year-old city (building up around the fur and timber trade) has not much else beside, apart from the largest shopping mall in North America. Since reading Kingdom Come, by J G Ballard, shopping malls have come alive in my imagination.

Shopping Mall visits are reassuring: you know the rules no matter where the mall is. Walk the upstairs circuit, then the downstairs, walk part every shop to see what you can find. Feel anonymous whilst reassured that others are also attempting to carve out their own consumer identity within the space.

Edmonton Mall’s designers tried to make the floor plan as confusing as possible to negotiate so that people would get lost and spend more (a common trick among Mall designers). But it was the attraction of Europa Alley, the giant wave pool and a massive replica of Colombus’s Santa Maria that knocked my internal compass.

If Richard Pearson, the lead character of Ballard’s Kingdom Come, was to start his investigation of the link between consumerism, fascism and violence in this Mall, he would find a full-sized plastic re-imagination of the Santa Maria as a weapon in waiting. Maybe the ship is amply stocked with plastic cannon balls.

Above the ice rink a cluster of tanks are home to a fish exotica from around the world. This is a clownfish gulping away at his own reflection in front of the store Family Vision Care (curious that their website also uses fish to advertise its products). Behind, a Blue Tang charges around, and you suddenly realise that this mini-aquarium is full of the characters from Finding Nemo by Pixar. Presumably this is to keep the children occupied as tired mothers negotiate the amount of bags they can fit on their children’s buggies.

There is no puzzle in the shopping mall, it all fits together with such ease. There were renovations of one elevator but people happily took the stairs. There is a mini golf course to unwind, with individuals making the most of the ’3cm away from the edge rule’ to line up their easy puts. Colouring books with outlined Gauguin paintings.

There is the explanation knocking about that Canada’s love affair with the shopping mall is due to the fact they are well-heated in the cold winter. No need to excuse yourself Edmontonians, this place is great!